The best free adult dating sites

This is not you average, spammy, run of the mill ‘best of’ list. All of these sites have been extensively tested by the bishop himself, with various degrees of success. Not only that, but he has also included some handy tips to ensure the best success rate on each and everyone of them.

OkCupid and PlentyOfFish 

These two sites are so similar that they have been bundled together here. Both share a similar concept: they are totally free to use, and they are supported by premium features which you do not really need to fully use the site.

Being free, both are extremely popular, and they share a similar ratio of about 55 males to every 45 females. All is not what it seems though, and these ratios are slightly skewed if you consider them by age categories. The predominant demographics are: younger males, and middle-aged women. The overwhelming majority of girls on both these sites are looking for a serious relationship, and frown on hook-ups.

After extensive testing, it soon becomes apparent that what you put in your profile, or the messages you send matter very little (as long as you are not a complete dickhead): your profile picture is king, and secondary is your height. Add at least an inch to your height, and make sure your profile pic makes you look attractive. No silly pictures, don’t try to hide your face: just make sure it features your best angle, and that the lighting is flattering. Edit your picture in photoshop if need be to get rid of imperfections (as long as you are still recognizable!). Topless pictures have worked well for me (I am athletic), provided they are set in a casual, congruent setting such as the beach.

Get these things right, and you’ll be surprised how many women message you first (tall, dark, and handsome is what works best).


This one is an absolute goldmine if you are looking for easy hook-ups. “But,” you object, “I thought AdultFriendFinder was a pay site…” Not quite! A lot of functions are pay-for, but some key features, like the ability to read and send a limited number of messages remain free. Another great, free feature are the webcam chatrooms on there: the women who frequent the site are looking for one thing only, and they will not treat you as a long term relationship prospect.

Like OkCupid and PlentyOfFish, the majority of women tend to be over 30 on AdultFriendFinder, but they are under no illusion as to what you are after. As such, you can post naked pictures with total impunity, particularly if you are well-endowed or have striking features (a large number of girls on there have a variety of fetishes – yes, black guys, you will be popular!).

There are a few fake profiles, but AdultFriendFinder is the only pay site I would take a membership to: it remains one of the oldest and better known adult sites, and as such, it has a very large number of female members who are on there with a view to hookup.  As a member, you will find girls are ripe for the picking… Another interesting aspect, for those of you who are into this, is the very large number of couples who use AdultFriendFinder, and who sometimes ask single men to join in.

All that being said, there are a couple of inconvenients you need to be aware of on AdultFriendFinder. First of all, the site is kinda spammy: if you remain a free member, it will contantly ask you to join. Just ignore these messages though, and all will be fine. Secondly, the site navigation is very confusing, and can take a little while to get used to!


This mobile app has received so much media attention, I am not sure there is much left to say about it… Tinder is not a website, and it will only work on a smartphone. It has a fairly even ratio of guys to girls; it tends to feature a younger demographic than other dating sites; it is extremely popular; it is totally free, and as such, it pretty much is the ultimate hook-up app.

Like with OkCupid or PlentyOf Fish, your profile picture is king on Tinder, and it is the key to ensure tinder success.

The site has some inconvenients though: it is linked to your facebook account, and you will have to create a fake facebook account if you wish to remain anonymous. It only works in the geographical location you find yourself with at the moment, and other than the ability to like profiles/pictures and to send messages, it offers no other features. No webcam chatrooms, no ability to view profiles outside your immediate area, no matching system, other than the liking system. To do well with Tinder, it helps to be young and handsome, and -most important- to have a solid profile pic.


If you are into fetish, kink, and/or bdsm, Fetlife is awesome!. It is almost entirely free and offers a full range of features. It goes beyond being a simple dating site, and is actually a full blown social network for alternative lifestylers.

However, a few things need to be noted about Fetlife: the site is highly hierarchical, with well established members and experienced lifestylers who will tend to ‘poach’ all new members. The women on there tend to look primarily for  masters and doms, and other kinks are less well-represented, or at least less in demand. And finally, certainly in the area I come from, the women are absolute whales! It is hard to find anyone remotely decent looking. Also, very few members seem to be looking for hook-ups, favoring long term relationships instead. That said, Fetlife has such an extensive membership that you might well get a lot of success on the site, particularly if you have some experience of bdsm.


This is not a dating site as such, but the personals section on craigslist is infamous for a reason! Forget about answering ads in the ‘women seeking men section’: most of these are from escorts and spammers. Forget also about posting in the ‘men seeking women’ section: hardly any real women read or answer these. Where craigslist works for hookups is in couples looking for single men, and to find dogging locations. Swingers can also have a lot of success on the site.


This site is mostly a waste of time, with most members inactive and never answering your messages, unless you are Spanish, or a Spanish speaker (Badoo is particularly popular in Latin America). The site makes its revenue by charging to increase its members’ visibility. Nonetheless, it is free to use, and it is well worth a look if you are from any of the aforementioned countries.

Pay sites

In addition to the sites mentioned above, there are also a host of pay-for dating sites, but none of which are worth a look at in my opinion (apart from AdultFriendFinder), unless you are seeking a long term relationship.

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